 |
Online Dating: How I Met My Mate
Do you think online dating is only for the young and the foolish? Not true! Lots of men and and women of all ages are finding the love of their life through online dating. I did it and so can you.
Oh, No, Single Again!
When I separated from husband number three, I was 47 years old and plenty scared that I would never find a good man to love. I read all those stories about how a woman over 40 has a better chance of being hit by lightning than getting married again. It's all nonsense. Your life is determined by the state of your consciousness.
When you end an unhappy chapter of your life, it means you've got some soul-searching and spiritual work to do. If you are willing to do the work required to heal your emotional hurts and resentments, you can write a new chapter with a very different ending. I went through a real "Dark Night of the Soul" following my third divorce, but I had such a big, stubborn ego that the only way I was going to learn the lessons I needed to learn was to be completely humbled.
I didn't really find my own spiritual truth until I lost everything else. It took some time, but I eventually turned my life around completely on every front-health, finances, work, and relationships.
As you get older, it becomes more difficult to meet eligible men. More and more people of every age are using online dating to find their special someone. My story should give you lots of confidence that you can meet the right man for you, no matter what your age or geographical location. When you're having trouble meeting eligible prospects in more conventional ways online dating is certainly worth a try.
If anyone had a good reason to complain about how hard it was to meet a good man, it was me. I was over 50, living in a very small mountain town where most people in my age group were married couples. It's a community of pickup trucks and blue jeans. The local joke is: "If you find a guy in Big Bear who is still single, he's either in recovery or on parole." In nearly three years of living there I met a few single men, but no one that I wanted to date.
Finding My Soul Mate
Two weeks after I moved in to the new house I bought, I met my soul mate. It all started several months before, when a woman I knew showed up at church one Sunday with a nice looking, neatly dressed guy in tow. In a sport coat and slacks, not blue jeans-wow!
"He's not from around here, is he?" I asked, "Where did you meet him?"
"On the internet!" she replied.
"Are you serious?" I gasped! She told me there were lots of nice men in our age group using the online dating sites and encouraged me to try the one where they met.
I put my profile and picture on the website she recommended and a whole new world opened up to me. Quite a few men contacted me, and this gave me the opportunity to practice and hone my skills at determining whether they were worth the time and trouble to actually meet in person.
I was very specific about my basic requirements in my profile and it amazed me to see how many guys seemed to just ignore what they read. I stated that I did not want a long distance relationship. He must live close enough geographically so we could see each other at least twice a week. I'd get e-mails from New York, Florida, Texas. I stated flatly "no smokers." Then I'd find out in a phone conversation that the guy smoked! What were they thinking? Couldn't they read?
I did meet several good men and dated them for a period of weeks or months, but no one really clicked with me. That was all right. It was fun checking the internet site to see who contacted me, then writing and talking to lots of different men. Sure, a few were losers or idiots, but most were just decent men who wanted to meet their special woman and fall in love.
The whole experience restored my faith in the male of the species. I saw that most men want someone to love just as much as we women do. They touched my heart and strengthened my resolve to keep the faith. I believed with all my heart that my soul mate was out there looking for me and wanting me as much as I wanted him.
I read some of the success stories posted on the site and noticed that in many cases, the woman had made the initial contact. It gave me the confidence to try my own search instead of just responding to those who contacted me. I wondered if there might be anyone interesting who lived anywhere nearby. My search turned up dozens of men who lived within an hour's drive.
Something immediately drew me to Stephen's profile. He lived in a nearby town right at the bottom of the mountain. His face was blurry in his photo but he was wearing a sleeveless tee shirt, which revealed his muscular upper arms. I'm a sucker for a great pair of biceps, so I contacted him by e-mail. In his online dating profile he said he liked to write poetry, so in the subject line I wrote: "Your muse awaits."
He was intrigued by my message. He wasn't quite sure what a muse was and had to look it up in the dictionary. (A muse is someone who is an inspiration to an artist, especially a poet). He told me later that my clever, romantic line made his day.
We wrote back and forth a few times, and then talked on the phone for several weeks. He sounded rather casual on the phone and I wasn't sure I wanted to meet him. He was persistent though, and convinced me to meet him at a coffee house called Grounds for Enjoyment. Little did I know how prophetic that would turn out to be!
I still didn't know what his face looked like. Oh, but there was no mistake about those biceps! I assumed his looks would be nothing special because of the blurry photo. I kept my expectations low and my mind open, so I wouldn't be disappointed, no matter what happened.
The First Meeting
I was waiting outside when he pulled up in his purple Explorer. He got out and walked toward me and my heart nearly stopped! He was tall, slim, and extremely good looking, half-Italian with dark hair and eyes, an aquiline nose, and strong jaw line. He was wearing a black leather jacket that immediately reminded me of my old high school swains back in New Jersey.
We said hello, and then he impulsively gave me a hug. It caught me off guard but I liked it, and it was okay with me that he did it.
We hit it off immediately. We talked for hours that first night. Before I drove back up the mountain I told him that he felt like family to me. He reminded me so much of my Italian family back east. Being with him was easy and comfortable.
We dated, got engaged, and then married a year and three months later. Online dating worked for me better than I could have dreamed!
If I had not done all that spiritual work before I met him, none of this would have come to be. He is so grateful to have a woman in his life that enjoys being in charge. And I am so grateful to have a man in my life who accepts and loves me as I am. We've been together five years now and every day I'm thankful to have such a good man as my partner in life.
Great relationships are created through your consciousness (as is everything else in your life). That's what I know to be true through my own experience. Great love is possible for every one of us so don't give up! Online dating could be the perfect way for you to meet your soul mate just as it was for me.
Barbara Wright Abernathy helps take-charge women be as successful at love as they are at work. She's the author of Venus On Top: Women Who Are Born to Lead and the Men Who Love Them. Get your FREE report-3 Biggest Mistakes People Make While Dating athttp://www.free-dating-online-secrets.com
MORE RESOURCES:
Edmonton Journal (blog) |
Dating across the borderEdmonton Journal (blog)Who better to ask about the state of mankind, well men, actually, than Rebecca Northan, currently dating a guy a night in Edmonton? Her touring show Blind Date, in which (terrifyingly) she picks a guy from the audience for a 90-minute date onstage, ...and more » |
|
Zac Efron dating Taylor Lautner ex Lily Collins?Digital SpyThe 24-year-old was reportedly spotted dining out with the Mirror Mirror actress at a steakhouse in Los Angeles. According to X17, the pair were later seen slipping out of the venue by the back door and left together in the same vehicle.and more » |
|
Dating service missing guysRockhampton Morning BulletinTimely Encounters owner Jayne Close is hoping to kick the stigma surrounding speed dating and bring Rockhampton's single men out of hiding. IT'S been a wet summer for Rockhampton, but according to Jayne Close it certainly hasn't been raining men. |
|
Spotlight on teen dating violenceOmaha World-HeraldTerry Branstad proclaimed February as Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. Vicki-lynn Kelly, training and prevention educator at Catholic Charities Phoenix House, said this month is a good time to highlight the efforts under way to end ... |
Google News
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Great Dating Advice: 7 Universal Laws for Singles
The Law of the Right PersonWhile most of us put our focus on finding the right person, it's just as important to focus your energy on becoming the right person.The Law of Alone, Part 1One of the words used to describe the state of being alone is lonely.
Compatibility
Harsh words, hurting comments, tears and flying household objects - for sure, no one ever wanted that to be the everyday routine when deciding to live together with the beloved person. Yet, why is this such a common picture, portrayed even in many Hollywood dramas?Two people meet, they fall in love - that happens, in a multitude of different ways, thousands of times all over the world.
The Most Important Question to Ask on a First Date
First dates can be pretty daunting experiences, but they can be downright annoying or painful if both parties are not on the same page from the beginning. Being 'on the same page' means wanting the same type of relationship that the other wants.
How To Find a Great Dating Partner and Have Fun Looking
Internet dating can be great fun for you. It is an easy and painless way to meet some great people you might not normally meet.
Dating Tips: Work on The Similarities
What is it that makes you attracted to someone? The look? The character? The way he or she makes you laugh? Well, that's a few possibilities. Now let me ask you another question.
8 Deadly Dating Mistakes To Avoid!
Are you dating or in a serious relationship? Did you realize that very often we make the same dating mistakes over and over again? As outlined in my book "the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook" sometimes these mistakes can lead to losing the date of our dreams, or possibly being in a bad relationship. I've compiled a list of dating No-nos which will help you identify a possible problem that you can work on to improve your dating experience.
How to Create A Romantic Dinner for Two on a Pontoon Boat
Before you pick up the phone to make reservations for that romantic dinner for two..
Take Your Time
How long do you think it takes to really get to know someone to the point where you could marry them? Is 1 month long enough? Is 6 months long enough? Is 1 year long enough? What do you think of people who believe in love at first site? Is it infatuation or genuine love? I donīt intend to answer these questions, but how you answer them will impact how you approach dating and relationships.However, no matter what your answer to the questions above there are some things that you should be aware of.
Dating Advice: Common Interest Results in Happy Marriages
How often do your married friends complain about husbands who spend weekends on the couch watching games? Did they not notice these guys were sports fanatics while they were dating? Did they think things would change after the wedding?Life is fraught with ups and downs, so it's critical to marry someone you can have fun with, today and fifty years from now. Here's how you can find that person:1.
Meeting Other Singles By Doing Something You Love
Meet Other Singles by Doing Something You LoveHere's one the best ways I have found to meet other singles while enjoying what you would do anyway.Create your own group to do something that you enjoy.
Online Dating Tips For Success
So the search for the perfect relationship is tuff. You have tried the grocery market, the coffee houses, blind dates, social gatherings and the Barnes & Nobles.
Single Sites Are A Great Tool To Network And Develop Fun And Spontaneous Relationships Online
If you're tired of the boring and repetitive local dating scenes, then you should consider trying single sites to meet people with your interests alike!Where else can you find a significant number of people who are fun spirited, extremely spontaneous, and just don't want to be involved in a serious relationship as a single person?However, you may be tired of the same old bar and pub scene, so with access to singles dating online, you have a new avenue to meet some new and interesting people!Now keep in mind that online dating sites may be interpreted differently compared to personals sites, and you may have to check each one out to make sure they're right for your needs. Dating personals cater more to the individual that enjoys using the profiles, and chat features to talk to a variety of people at one time.
Dating On-line in Safety
Dating online can be great fun, stimulating and exciting. So let's first get it into perspective.
Do It And They Will Come: Pursuing New Adventures To Find Mr / Ms Right
Are you tired of the whole dating scene? Have you spent many hours (years) going to parties and events with the hope of meeting compatible and available singles? If so, now may be time to think about doing something different. Really different.
Relationship Room
Just recently, I felt ready to experience change in a particular area of my life but I needed an opportunity to "appear" in order for this change to happen. Because this change would affect so many people, I had to strategically communicate my intent.
Let Women Talk and Help
Women love to talk (just think of how long they talk on the telephone). Women like to help (just think of a typical "female" job: nurse, kindergarten teacher, geriatric nurse.
How To Land The Catch Of Your Life Without Becoming Sharkbait
However you like to do it, dating is a dangerous game. Not talking to strangers might be sound advice to give to kids but as a strategy to stop being single, it has at least one obvious drawback.
A Date With A Stranger
Well, I have decided to move forward once again. I have had two relationships that I thought were it, believed I got all the signs, thought I had found my soulmate.
Objections Are Signs Somebody Is Interested
The fact is, most people think they handle objections with ease.The reality paints a different picture.
Guys that Beautiful Girls Want: You Can Be One
"Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude towards us."- Earl NightingaleI have a good friend, let's call him Ted, who's pretty average looking.
|
